If Only

If only you knew the way he looked at you.
If only you saw what it did to me, too.
If only it was as easy as you make it look.
If only just a glance was all it took.

Yes, I have my own relationship to love.
But what you have, it’s something to talk of.
I’m happy with what I have, I promise.
But this pain is something I know I won’t miss.

If only I had something to envy like that.
For someone to even envy me back.
Is it love if no one else sees it?
Is it love if no one else believes it?

Don't Look Down, I'm Holding Your Hand

Love cannot be comprehended.
It is a way of life, concealed
From all who dare to learn it’s ways,
From all who dare to say “I love you.”

Love is an emotion, not an action.
It can be verbalized, and seen,
But never truly tangible by humans.
The Way is learned, not taught.

No human can ever teach to love.
Love is an act within itself.
An act of unselfishness, compassion.
It demands and punishes cruelly.

Any brave soul that dare to try
Will not be allowed through today.
Love will not be sought out.
Love will be stumbled upon.

It is the most unlikely of events,
That two people may realize that
The second hand that holds yours
Belongs to one that reciprocates love.

To reciprocate love is to love unconditionally,
An act to be tested by most.
Unconditional love is merely a test
Of your willingness to sacrifice for love.

Is it love if you would rather hear
The beat of one’s heart over
The beat of a band’s bass drum
More than anything else in the world?

The Perks of Masochism

It’s like reverse psychology.
A mistake is made, I blow up.
With ease, you turn it on me.

How do you get away with it?
How can you do this to me?
How do you make it look so easy?

I become instantly miserable,
A reaction uncontrolled
In this Chemistry experiment.

Don’t play with my emotions
Just to prove that you can.
We all know how you work.

I’m just a time bomb,
Waiting for the perfect moment
To cause a scene, a tragedy.

They call me crazy for this.
Going crazy over you, of course.
They don’t know what it’s like.

It’s like watching your favorite soap.
You always criticize the dumb one
For crying over a break up.

Screaming at the television,
You tell her getting back with him
Is the biggest mistake of her life.

But you aren’t in her shoes.
You don’t feel what she feels.
She unknowingly walks on cloud 9.

You are still here on Earth.
You can’t discover the wonders there.
But you blame her misery on her actions.

It’s not something you can help.
Trust me, I’ve tried.
And it’s worth it, I know.

It’s worth crying your eyes out
And ruining the perfect party.
Because the after party is better.

You come for the party.
But no one ever stays for it.
You stay for the rush afterwards.

It’s a form of masochism.
Except it has more perks.
It’s so much more rewarding.

A Dose of Regret

You are so smart.
Intelligence and common sense beyond belief.
The ability to see through people that are fake.
A true sense of what life is.

But you have your flaws.
The inability to read one’s true feelings.
A dramatic sense of superiority above others.
You seem to think you know me better than I do.

I hate to say it, love,
But when you can’t stop and listen,
Stop and truly listen to someone and feel
And understand rather than criticize.

You need a reality check.
Just a fix of compassion, paired with a diagnosis.
It’s the perfect concoction to change this.
Just an intervention too overdue.

It’s a problem.
A problem that roots from the depths of hell.
It corrupts from the inside out.
Then there is no way to escape it.

If this was the way.
The way to tell you how this feels,
How much this affects not only you, but me.
And how close it could cut this,

Then maybe,
A dose of regret is all you need.

The One Problem the Plumber Can't Fix

An exchange of unnecessary breaths
In exchange for a few tears again.
Follow the routine, it's all I know.
Why can't we pass a sunrise without it?

After a bitter goodbye, we'll part as usual,
Broken, understanding this torn feeling.
You've left with no regrets, no sympathy.
Tomorrow, broken is but a myth for us.

But these pieces, they don't fix themselves.
A steady hand and voice are all we need
To prepare this act you plan to ensue.
You're too great an actor for this cynic.

"Save the drama," that's your motto,
But I can't save this unfinished business
For tomorrow's reenactment--it's too much.
There's only so much I can do for you.

Leave this untouched, it will perish soon,
Then you'll regret this, you'll regret me.
My metaphors can't save a dying flame.
Can they save a freshly lit one?

Keep your files, they'll come in handy.
Just when the hurricane diminishes our
Any hope, you can get a rain check.
Then maybe, I'll stay until tomorrow.

AA is for Quitters, So Where do You Go?

Choke on the words then spit them out.
There's no cure to this flourishing addiction.
To you, quitting just isn't an option.

It's the scent of your late night words
When they confuse me and make me agree
To this problem, a vile monster in the making.

I've come to a controversial conclusion--
We could fight it, but no one would win.
This demon could be the end of what we know.

I could never blame this on you, however,
Only to the extent of your self-inflicted addiction,
But keep me in mind, don't blow it off.

Too deep into this for medication or therapy,
The doctors can only treat the sick, not this.
They'll grimace and pretend they don't know.

We know, they're lying through bloodstained teeth.
Just keep this between us, under the wraps of
Tomorrow's conversation, and I'll lie for you, too.

Never mind the sighs, you knew what they meant.
Keep this to yourself, things won't change soon.
The broken quitter's promise is for my ears only.

We Play Games, but This Time I Win

The game is over--I can show you the score.
Seven days, zero passion, I think I've won this fair.
I'll show you what it's like, though you've no care.
This time we can't lose, in the end I'll gain more.

Though that bit of you remains, I don't believe
The rumors that spread; my mind stays, you go.
Let me have this glory, you'll pay no mind, I know.
I know in the end that we'll both pay a fee.

Let me brag, just one night, reciprocate the pain.
You won't feel a thing, just smile till it ends.
I won't blame you for the loss your grin send
Down my spine, your words wash out like hell after rain.

Scream until your lungs give out, don't understand
Why I've left you no note, no trace of my heart.
Next time you'll see me, we'll shake from the start,
Back to square one we go, you know it's all planned.

No more misunderstood, no more late night cravings.
I'm done and I've left you to dwell in the dust
Of what you made me--a mess, and you're the must-
have of the summer, but this time, you're losing.