I Feel

I feel dangerous.
It's an emotion that usually passes by me,
avoiding, veering through other available paths.
I avoid all confrontation and adventure.

I feel suppressed.
By everyone and everything that surrounds me.
You've pinned me down during Left For Dead 2,
and you've left me for dead, too.

I feel anxious.

I'm not what you want me to be anymore,

letting you down was never my intention.

What am I supposed to do to make you proud?

I feel paralyzed.

You know my circumstances, hopes and dreams.

It is pointless to attempt to dissuade me now.

Don't stand in my way, I'll walk right through you.

I feel confident.
A little too confident, I guess you could say.

Too confident because all I get is the letdown.

I thought I deserved better than this.

I feel grown.

Not quite the person who woke up yesterday.

Because after all that has happened to me

I will change to make this better because I'm tired.

I feel exhausted.

Exhausted of your words, your lies, your hate.

Your disappointment, my disappointment, my faults.

I'm just tired of not doing anything about it.

I feel...different.

Second Villanelle

Everyday I wake up wondering.
When does my life begin its course?
A summer fling without a ring.

My face reveals a panoptic cringe.
My attempts out of bed are simply forced.
Everyday I wake up wondering.

The hangover follows a never-ending binge.
A present vibe of absent remorse.
A summer fling without a ring.

Insert this looming syringe.
My vocals seem so tense and hoarse.
Everyday I wake up wondering.

My muscles have begun to sing
A tune so violent, a teasing source.
Everyday I wake up wondering,
A summer fling without a ring.

Untitled

I've never felt so close.
It's been a while for me.
I'll stray from all their no's.

I've suffered many blows.
Your love comes with a fee.
I've never felt so close.

An arrow shot from their bows,
A scream, a cry, a plea.
I'll stray from all their no's.

We'll quickly strike a pose,
We'll whisper and agree.
I've never felt so close.

Now we are exposed.
A hole for all to see.
I'll stray from all their no's.

Be careful not to doze
For the night is carefree.
I've never felt so close.
I'll stray from all their no's.