Can You Regret Wanting What You Still Don't Have?

Slip into a trance-like state.
Lose me to a blank letter
That might mean more to me
Than you ever could.

It'll show more affection
Than you could accumulate
From your "relationships."
I don't have the right to this.

I'm calling you out on my
Own problems, all your fault.
But I won't back down from it.
It's all your fault again.

I'll put down my pen like you
Put down my feelings.
But don't forget how you felt
When she left you with nothing.

Forget it, I'm done with you.
For months you've gotten
Under my skin and I don't
Feel myself anymore.

I'm infuriated by you, I think.
Is it just a temporary storm,
Or will it hover just like
The luck of eight shattered mirrors?

Maybe the blame doesn't fall
On your shoulders, where I say
It does, maybe it's just all on me
For ever realizing you exist.

Glassy Eyes and Cloudy Skies

Chronic time wont let this pass me,
but the way I see it, we're just barely
filling in the space you left so empty
for us to replete mistakes worth making.

Thousands of breaths fog up this glass.
The white wash of memories in my past
will not reveal itself too fast.
So stay in tune and maybe you'll see.

Glassy eyes wont let this slip.
Not this time.
Not now.

Will this whole thing hit or miss?
I won't this time.
Not ever again.
Not this time.

I no longer touch the heart but rap it
so hard it'll shatter to pieces fit
to only your puzzle, your body vacant.
If you could exchange for another, would you?

My words are not what they used to be.
The effect is not perspective-changing but drowsy.

Glassy eyes wont let this slip.
Not this time.
Not now.

Will this whole thing hit or miss?
I won't this time.
Not ever again.
Not this time.

We'll hold on to what we have for now.
Can I hold you to this vow?
I'm not ready for your insensitivity
to keep me from keeping faith.

Glassy eyes wont let this slip.
Not this time.
Not now.

Will this whole thing hit or miss?
I won't this time.
Not ever again.
Not this time.

Time Flies, Can You Teach Me How?

Fixed on the scalding black asphalt,
the sun fuses its rays with raw skin,
trying to teach me a lesson.
Make me aware of the plight I'm in.
I hide the time from this very spot.

We can't continue to just lay here.
The progress we've made is wearing thin.
Pedestrians, our friends, ask how we've been.
The look on my face confesses to chagrin.
The look on yours is one of pure fear.

Can we get out of this ghost town?
Can we get past our past and move on?
I'll spend time on this plan, start at dawn
and work til we've synthesized a battle won.
I won't go til we've gotten around.

We've wasted time for too long.

Anticipation Doesn't Kill, it Scars

There's a party I'm not invited to,
but I'm crashing it with pride.
I'll count down the days til I
break my heart for the sixth time.

I'll waltz in, unannounced and unashamed,
just to watch you with the girls
I know you'd rather have in lieu of me.
It's not news to me when this unfurls.

The host of the party won't even know
the reason for crashing when I've
no business to be in their home,
no business but what I don't have.

Another few hours I'll merely waste,
dancing with guys but looking at you.
Crashers aren't welcomed in your presence.
But I'll do it; these boys are easy, too.

Mind if I introduce myself to your friends?
Of course not, the others occupy your body
while I casually pretend I don't want you.
I'm not forward, but my moves are shoddy.

In the mist of my scheming for this bash,
I'll count down the days only to discover
that the closer I get to my destination,
the more the pain seems to hover.

Each day, I'll mark off with an X,
another nick on my calendar and heart.
And at the end of this soiree,
I'll have twice the amount from the start.

Mirrors Don't Lie, Especially When Broken

Staring into the clean glass bowl,
my own reflection is distorted
as am I, but no one can see it.
I can't believe I've done this.

I look through everything to the
darkness of my past mistakes.
As clear as the ocean's waters,
I don't like what I am seeing.

I had never been so utterly disgusted.
So repulsed by something to the
point that sickness takes control.
Does your stomach churn like a washer?

Maybe it's the flu, or the messages
that reveal who I hate the most.
When I see this, it's legitimate hate
for what I've done wrong.

After all this time of pointing fingers,
blaming you for the hurt I feel,
I can finally turn it around and say
I am completely repulsed by my reflection.

I've Done the Limbo; How Low Can You Go?

When you don't find what you're looking for,
do you settle for less when there's more
than you'll ever need right in front of you?

When is it that you completely let go of
everything you've expected because what
you got just gave even more disappointment?

What is the maximum hurt you are allowed to
endure when all you've known is pain?
When the speed limit is surpassed and lapsed?

Questions go unanswered til someone comes along
with the capacity for hurt of a thousand lost lives.
Who will be the one that changes the standard?

TVs Aren't in Black and White Anymore, So Why Should Love Be?

Nothing is ever distinct anymore.
There are no right or wrong answers.
But, at times, some can be favored, right?
It's on a case by case basis we decide.

One this I know for sure is about love.
It's considered to be in black and white--
You love someone, or you don't, fin.
But doesn't it have it's shades of gray?

How about the times when you love someone
and your destiny is inevitable?
Or the times when it's so beautiful to
be loved, and everything is in technicolor?

What makes love so defined by two people,
to the point where no one else is significant?
Those two people define a concept too strong
to stand without explanation, or confirmation.

Love is not black and white.
You can love but never feel it reciprocated.
Or fall in love with someone so unexpected.
Sometimes love is not a desirable thing,

But a mere punishment for what you cannot have.